Gut Instincts Don't Lie
You and I both know that we also hear/feel things that we often justify or make excuses for. Maybe we don't want to believe it. Maybe we think it's easier to just not deal with it. Either way, those are called gut instincts and they shouldn't be ignored.
It has been said that "hindsight is 20/20". In other words, perfect vision...clarity.
I've known for a long time that things are...off, but I convinced myself that I have broad shoulders; I am strong and can handle it.
Why should I handle it? What is this toxic dysfunction doing to my husband and daughter?
These are just a glimpse of the thoughts that race through my mind when I lay down to sleep, in my dreams and they're still there the moment my eyes open for the day.
Caregiving isn't easy and caregiver burnout is so freaking real but caregiving for a con artist, it's a whole new ball game. We touched on that a bit in my previous article The Garage Apartment: Beyond Caregiver.
My mom was toxic and I never once hesitated to tell her exactly what was on my mind. None of her 4 children did, yet I constantly find myself asking why I walk on eggshells with Tom. (He doesn't deserve to be called dad)
Is it because I've since truly been born-again and given my heart to Christ and I am called to be more like Jesus?
Is it because I've had mostly drama, toxicity and hardship and I'm just tired?
Either way, none of those answers warrant me accepting this man's stuff. I was reminded that as long as Rich and I here being Tom's safety net, he doesn't need to lean on God.
Even with hindsight and gut instincts, why is tough love so hard?
Today is Monday. Tom has ignored us since our last conversation Thursday night. If you're not guilty or know that you've been taking advantage of us, why would you ignore us?
Why would you choose to stay in a place that is uncomfortable, a place where people avoid each other like the plague and an environment where you can cut the tension with a knife? I'll tell you why.
He loves his cushy life of a free apartment with literally no bills and no responsibility.
We never agreed to have you be our dependent and quite honestly, why would you want that?
When I'm 71 I'll still be driving, traveling...probably working. I'll tell you what I WON'T be. A drain on my child. That's the difference between a parent and an imposter.
I hope that you'll join as a member of Confessions of a Caregiver and join in on the conversation. Are you a caregiver? Have you ever had an experience like mine?
Perhaps my stories will reveal what many caregivers want to say but like me they hold it in. Well, I'm choosing different now. He's not worth me getting sick over and stress will do that to you.
That's why I keep my Copa-Calm Magnesium close by and the teachings of Graham Cooke on my phone. I am in a season where I can use the constant reminders of Christ. You can experience these faith-filled teachings as well. Use my link below for a free 5-day trial of the app.
Until we meet again,
This article contains affiliate links and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend things that I truly use and trust.
